Have you ever had an intimate partner to whom you’ve shown clear signs of love? These signs can include frequently telling them you love them, going out of your way to ensure their comfort, taking all of their calls, responding to their text messages promptly, and patiently holding space for them to express themselves during challenging times. Most people will listen to their beloved, even if it means over-explaining, justifying, and validating their actions or allowing themselves to be manipulated.
Some partners may cross boundaries, act awkwardly out of jealousy, or feel that you don’t love them, even if this doesn’t make sense to you. You may continue to gather information from them, but it might still not make sense, as our partners can’t feel the love we give if they don’t feel it for themselves. They may be guarded due to past hurt or trauma, and when we touch them gently, they might pull back, say our touch is awkward, or remain numb, as their body and consciousness interpret our loving touch as desensitized, negative, or non-existent.
Many women may try to offer solutions to their male partners, such as connecting with other men, exercising, or finding a job. However, these are only temporary fixes, not solutions. Eventually, the man might accuse the woman of being controlling or blame her and the relationship for his problems, even though he brought those problems into the relationship.
It’s interesting how some men can “love-bomb” during the first three to six months of a relationship, placing their partner on a pedestal and claiming it’s the greatest love they’ve ever experienced. Then they may start saying that their partner doesn’t love them the same way, creating problems out of nothing and blaming the change on their partner. This can leave their partner feeling confused, as they’ve been consistent with their love and care.
The reason for this phenomenon is that many men never do their inner work, and their partners become their saviors or trophies onto whom they project their fantasies. They may believe that being in a relationship and having their sexual needs met will bring them happiness and boost their self-esteem through compliments and admiration. However, since this is only a projection and not how they truly feel about themselves, the illusion of love eventually falls apart.
For a man to truly feel love, give love, and sustain a healthy relationship through good and bad times, he needs to have a healthy, fluid, and connected relationship with his own feminine essence. If he has rejected his essence, hides his emotions in work, suppresses his desires through pornography, or avoids stepping into his true purpose and healing, he will blame his partner for all his problems. As a result, he will never feel loved enough, love himself as much as his partner loves him, or find happiness.
It’s a lonely place to be, always right rather than feeling good and loved. Embracing one’s inner work, developing self-awareness, and fostering genuine connections can pave the way for a more fulfilling and loving relationship experience.