In my youth, I tried to cut corners when it came to pulling weeds. I wanted the instant gratification of getting paid, but it didn’t matter if I tried to fool my father or myself; the weeds would quickly grow back, seemingly faster than before. This experience serves as a metaphor for human behavior as well, particularly when it comes to avoiding the roots of our triggers and insecurities.
Facing Our Inner Weeds
When people exhibit insecure behavior, jealousy, or sudden anger, they often acknowledge that it’s “their stuff.” Even those who have sought therapy or engaged in self-exploration might claim they’re still “working on their stuff” and healing. However, until they get to the roots of their triggers, stress, major life transitions, or health scares can often cause those forever-growing weeds rooted in our deeper unconscious psychological garden to resurface.
The Power of Transformational Coaching
In my coaching practice, I only work with clients who want to pull their weeds at the roots. When prospective clients merely only seek band-aids and life hacks to constantly return to coaching in reaction after cutting themselves again, this is utterly exhausting and draws us constantly back into the blood and drama of their lives.
The Pitfalls of People-Pleasing
Coaches with unhealed people-pleasing tendencies, due to their lack of boundaries, often experience exhaustion and burn out in coaching by working with needy reactionary clients. If their clients aren’t doing the inner work consistently, they’ll show back up to each new session reporting back about the arguments they’ve had or the toxic relationships they’re still engaged in, and the coach gets stuck in the headlines of the news that sounds like last week without delving into the depth needed to truly understand the transparent fears holding the person back.
Embracing Lasting Change
To create lasting change, we must be willing to go beyond surface-level solutions and dig deep to unearth the transparent roots of our issues. Only then can we hope to transform our lives for the better and break free from the overgrown weeds that foreshadow the beauty that is also growing in our garden and holding us back from reaching our full potential. As we commit to this journey of self-discovery, we can cultivate a life that is more authentic, fulfilling, and aligned with our true selves.